Tuesday, October 30, 2007


That many religions (including Christianity) seem to advocate for a theology of sex as shameful or bad, or something we should hide from, is sad. But also, the idea that boundaries are completely unnecessary and that everything is fair game gets us into deep emotional wounds and hurt.
Just in the same way that we do not leave our cars unlocked and our houses open all the time, we neither leave our hearts or our bodies in this way.
Pornogorahy is really not about self-expression and sexual freedom, but more about male domination and female submission--about enslavement and fear and violence. There is a book called The Macho Paradox, in which Jackson Katz talks about real freedom, sexually and emotionally. Real freedom exists when we are healthy enough to be honest with ourselves and one another, connect in meaningful ways, and not escape to receive "highs" by dominating others. Two great documentaries are Jackson Katz's Tough Guise and Jean Kilbourne's Killing Us Softly 3.
Christ's actions on this earth advocate for a freedom that is genuine, authentic, and grounded in truth. The real expression of lvoe within this freedom exists when we are not afraid of ourselves or others, and are willing to explore both our wounds and our joys. Intimacy happens when domination, fear and escapism are no longer present.